Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize