Kiss
Puke
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
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We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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