Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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