he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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