I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
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Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
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But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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