i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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