I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
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All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
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You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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