Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
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No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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