im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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