you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
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how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
third nipple confirmed
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Is Oprah even human
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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