my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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