period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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