Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
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i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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