I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize