omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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