Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize