He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
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I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize