none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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