The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
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I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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