Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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