considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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