i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I wish I only lived at night.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Michael Bay diarrhea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize