yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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