You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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