Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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