I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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