Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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