Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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