we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
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Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
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I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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