I molested 6 butterflies tonight
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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