yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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