She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Still dying that you shit outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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