She's JV to your varsity
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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