wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
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She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
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I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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