I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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