So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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