Well apparently he's into motor boating.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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