I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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