Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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