Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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