they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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