I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize