just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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