Texts From Last Night

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  (+49): View more from Germany

  i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.

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  (+49): i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve. http://tfl.nu/21ct
  Replies (7) Good night (2869) Bad night (622)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more

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  (856): I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more http://tfl.nu/kc45
  Replies (2) Good night (531) Bad night (1747) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out

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  (817): I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out http://tfl.nu/wed3
  Replies (28) Good night (3109) Bad night (602) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.

  (406): View more from Montana

  IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.

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  (509): Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober. (406): IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out. http://tfl.nu/sia4
  Replies (10) Good night (1001) Bad night (3880)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  video games are the ultimate cock blocker

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  (781): video games are the ultimate cock blocker http://tfl.nu/a2qu
  Replies (42) Good night (734) Bad night (3950) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?

  (503): View more from Oregon

  3some

  (541): View more from Oregon

  You're right, stupid question.

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  (541): What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms? (503): 3some (541): You're right, stupid question. http://tfl.nu/lx7x
  Replies (21) Good night (10147) Bad night (1020)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.

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  (651): I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle. http://tfl.nu/juw9
  Replies (25) Good night (6675) Bad night (907) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.

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  (407): I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying. http://tfl.nu/u472
  Replies (30) Good night (8899) Bad night (924) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?

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  (+44): Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones? http://tfl.nu/hoh3
  Replies (8) Good night (1369) Bad night (3579) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.

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  (479): When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls. http://tfl.nu/83jv
  Replies (16) Good night (6194) Bad night (856) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww

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  (714): Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww http://tfl.nu/e98y
  Replies (13) Good night (3688) Bad night (1113) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.

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  (517): Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call. http://tfl.nu/hx3q
  Replies (5) Good night (643) Bad night (2840)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!

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  (702): But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder! http://tfl.nu/rxkw
  Replies (12) Good night (950) Bad night (315) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text

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  (404): also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text http://tfl.nu/b0kp
  Replies (3) Good night (271) Bad night (415) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"

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  (212): I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy" http://tfl.nu/3mee
  Replies (2) Good night (1064) Bad night (198) Order T-Shirt

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