new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize