It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize