Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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