O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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