oh god the rape fog is back!
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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