how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize